Wednesday, October 29, 2008

fatherhood

*warning* there might be explicit contents in the following thread. read with caution. please pardon me

as taken from dictionary.com, the definition of fatherhood
1.the state of being a father.
2.fathers collectively.
3.the qualities or spirit of a father.
in this case, it's got nothing to do with the second definition. but i believe that the first and last go hand in hand, in the state of being a father, you need to have some qualities of a father. i know i cant speak much for these here, owing to the fact that i didn't live with a physical father figure for about half my life now. yet here i am, in need to talk about it, you could say i am complaining, but the things i'm gonna talk about are not things i want to become, and i hope to see that my brothers out there don't end up like this.

first and foremost, if you're not ready to be a father, but have serious desires to have sex and fornicate, use a bloody comdom! if you can't afford to buy a condom, then just don't do it. when i say not ready to be a father, i mean financially at least, because i'm quite sure that no one can be really ready, otherwise, to be a father.

know your responsibilities as a father, and a husband. being a father means you've got kids, they are your responsibility. so it means you can't just walk out on them just like that! it's not just about your selfish desires that should spur your decision making. running away doesn't solve anything, especially the fact that your children already exist!

that includes being busy with work. yes, no doubt that to be able to provide for your family, you need to work hard to put food on the table and what not, but please think of the consequences of your absence as well. work is not 7 days a week, it's only 5. so if you find that you need to work 14 hours a day from monday to friday, keep your weekends for your kids. tiring as it maybe, if you can manage 14-hours days, i'm sure you can manage a couple of hours a day for your family.

don't expect your parents/relatives to look after your children for you. i don't understand how anyone can live without seeing their own children for so long! i know a guy, for the last 3weeks, has not seen his children, and that totally doesn't make sense to me. yes, he may be young, but definitely old enough to have children. i guess just not mature enough.

your actions and decisions will affect the way your family carries on in their life, whether you see it or not. like deciding what to eat, how that would affect your health, and the length of your life, or even what you do as your past time, how much time it would take up, affecting how much time you have with your family. legally or morally, all decisions are important, so i implore you, make the right ones. don't let your wife and kids suffer, or worse still, if your parents have to suffer as a result of all the suffering from the former.

if you've got anger management issues, go seek help, don't take it out on your wife. she's gone through enough to have to bare your children, don't give her more pain by beating her up.

actually, this post was meant to slam someone really badly, albeit he'd never read it. however i decided that he still has some dignity as a man. i know i'm in no position to say any of this, because i've not been there to know how difficult it is, so pardon me if i am being to harsh in some aspects. however i have been at the losing end of what's stated above,well, most of it at least, and i believe there are many other's out there that have been through the same, or are going through some of the above, and i sympathise with them. i just pray that fathers will be able to be who they were made to be. we're all humans, but there's a limit to how many mistakes we can make.

all this said, i know that there is a Father that i can count on at all times in my life. no matter how bad the situation is for me, i know that He is always there, providing a source of comfort for everything, as long as we seek His loving arms. although everything that's stated above, He doesn't have to go through, but i believe He feels the pain involved in each and every of those situations, but He bares them all for our sake. take point from Him, and we who are going to be fathers in our lifetime will be able to do a better job.

Posted by charles at 8:50 PM