Thursday, September 04, 2008

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Is it then possible to say that I do not love my wife anymore, but we're still married as I am doing it out of duty, responsibility. I was having dinner with one of my specialists the yesterday, and this was what he said. I wasn't shocked by the statement, but I just felt sad for him.

The right to marry someone is a God-given right, and marriage is viewed by many as ordained by God. Religion aside, should it not be sacred to everyone? The following sentence is heard time and time again, spoken in many languages, at almost every wedding. "I take you - to have, and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."

Who then really keeps to this pledge? I've seen enough couples to know that yes, there are those that do keep this, but how often is that pledge broken, and to who shall the fault to upon? Does it differ from each marriage, where by the husband had an affair and the wife calls for a divorce? Will not the pledge be broken? Who then are the couple accountable to? Still to each other, or to God, or to the state that "pronounces you husband and wife!"

"Girl ah, if we were to file for a divorce, how will you feel and who would you follow?" "I will feel sad loh. If papa is in the wrong, I will hate him and not talk to him. If mummy is in the wrong, I will hate her and not talk to her."

Who then is the victim in all this? The girl, or her parents? Then after the divorce, will come the custody battle. Who really has the right to look after the child, when neither of them are capable of keeping a lifelong commitment to each other.

"Do you believe in living together?" "As a father would you allow your daughter to live with her boyfriend, even if she were marriageable age?" I said no, but I realised that I didn't know why I would say no. I realised that I didn't really think it was wrong to do so, except by God's standards. I know I wouldn't do it. At that dinner when we were having the conversation on marriage, I was thinking, since after getting married you see a different side of someone else, like how lazy or messy or sloppy the other can be, then why not live together for a period? If you find that you cannot stand the other person's living habits, then would it not be better to not choose the path of marriage?

As I typed the above paragraph, I just came to realise that if that were to happen, then I would be going against ALL that the pledge of marriage is all about. Marriage is about accepting each other, including ALL the flaws. As a dating couple, you all will be able to see many kinds of flaws. However those are flaws that you see when you're out together, and when you're having dinner with family and friends. However these flaws will be minimised, as in times of dating, the best of each other will be brought forward. I want to show you that I love you, so you'll really see the best side of me, so that you will be able to love me back.

Isn't this all wrong? Again I say, what about accepting each other? I do believe this doesnt just apply for marriage. However as a dating couple, if you find you can't accept one and another, many will find that the easiest way out will be to break off, and find someone else who is more suitable. If that's the case, I believe that no one will really be getting married anymore.

If you ask me how I feel about the divorce that happened a decade ago, I will tell you now that it doesn't bother me. The best parts of my life were lived without a father on earth, but I turned out just fine. However it doesn't mean that everyone can live without a father. I too have my flaws that are brought about because of the lack of a father, however there have been many father figures in my life that have made a difference. Would everyone who is going to lose a parent turn out to be a fine young man or a fine young lady? I guess no one knows for sure, but I can only hope that even if their parents seperate, when the time comes for them to get married, that the right decisions are made, and it will be handled maturely.

All in all, I still believe in holy matrimony, as we were created by God to love and be loved. For me, I am still too young to be ready for marriage. I am still too young to know what I want from my other half. I do know that no one can live alone, and now, I have the one true love that trumps all. As much as my world is filled with pretty and beautiful individuals, God will provide His one for me eventually.

Till death do us part.

Posted by charles at 5:36 PM