Saturday, April 19, 2008
okie. it's not that i just realised what's going on in my life. just that for those that do not know, i'm changing. changing in more ways than one, and maybe you can say, i'm growing up. i guess it's really after the 21st that things started to change. some of the change has been rather drastic i must say. i mean with me going crazy a lot and all, and sometimes even the way i talk, or speak to some people, the decisions i make and the 'knowledge' i share, is seemingly better than what i used to be.
i think a number of factors contribute to this. one, possibly could be turning 21, some of you should try it when you hit the age. 2, when i was in thailand, dealing with different ages and different ranks has taught me quite a lot. the third would probably be that i know that i need to make better or so called more mature decisions, with new toys to play with and all - for those that still dont know, i've actually passed my driving already. didnt think that i'd need to tell the whole world about it, and i'm quite indifferent about driving in general. well, driving was the first that made me change really. knowing that the choices i make would endanger or protect the lives of people in the car, including myself. these are probably the 3 main reasons for change.
somehow i feel that some people arent taking the words i say seriously though. i guess it'll take a while to convince them of the change within me. time for yet another new change in my life i guess. please accept me for who i am, and who i am becoming.
one change i really want to see, is a closer walk with God. i'm not struggling to go back, it's more like i'm so concentrated with the changes, that i'm not really including Him in it all. i know i should, and i know i need to. i dont think it's about where i can start, i bet i know where i can, but i feel i need something big to bring about this change. i know i should be looking for it, yet be consciously aware of what God wants to do, and let Him lead. i just am not.
Posted by charles at 9:02 AM