Wednesday, November 08, 2006
whoa. i spent the whole morning blog surfing. okie the past hour, watched a movie the first 2 hours. i'm surprised to see that blogging isnt so in with many people these days. Guess they're all busy with their stuffs.
it's a sad world out there. i got a link from sam's blog to rachael chiam's blog, and i read that she's got some auto-immune disease, and when i looked again, it was some lady from the states who took over rachael's url. i see a lot of my friends are so lost in life. they seem happy and all, but on the contrary seem to have no aim, no purpose in life. i want to see the world change, and no one else can do it for me, but me. i know there's so much that i can do, but i just dont know where to start. i feel lost, not lost in the ways of the world, but lost that i dont know how to go about saving the world. Lord i pray that you show me a way to be your reflector, to tell the world that You live. the world can never take You away from me, but i can give and show You to the world so that they too may enjoy what i love. Father i pray that You'll guide me to speak to my friends, that i will stop being a pompus ass.
Jeanette asked me to go to taiwan. I did think about it the night or a few nights after she told me about it in church. honestly, when she said that she wanted some people from our trip to go over to her trip coz she needed spiritually mature people, coz her trip was pretty young, i was like well, there's me and me and well, she'll probably ask me. how much more immature can i get? to some extent i know God's asking me to go, not because i'm more spiritually mature, but i feel He wants to show me something. as much as He wants me to minister to them, He wants them to minister to me. not for them to pray for me, but to show me through their actions. to show me things that are wrong with me, to humble me, to break me. oh Lord, where oh where can i go that You do not have something already planned for me. You know my deepest fears and my darkest secrets. i try so hard to change for You, so that i can be Your light, but so many times it's so difficult. i know it's going to be a lot easier if i seek You more. i need to come out of this roller coaster ride, and sit on Your eagle's wings. i want to believe and wholly submit my life to You. i know that if i were to go to taiwan without You firmly at the top of my life, it's going to be a bad time for me. show me Lord, teach me, guide me. be my light so that i may reflect Your wonderous glory.
i know the plans You have for me are there to prosper me and not to harm me. teach me to let go and let You take control. stupid things i've done in the past make me not want to do what You want me to keep doing. Lord show me again the promise that You've once showed me. i love You Lord.
Posted by charles at 10:45 AM